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- Ok, so everybody wants to know what the heck "Bloody Fetus Night" was all about.
- It started out when I went to this other girl's cam site to see some of her pictures.
- (Ajacam) There was one pic from a past show that really caught my eye. It was
- a close-up of her genitals with a blob of red chunky stuff in a little pile
- up by her clit. I grossed out for a second, making the ew-gross-what-the-hell-is-that face,
- then was somewhat captured by the image. I looked at the other pics surrounding it, and
- came to the conclusion that she was playing with a can of cherry pie filling!
- I told my members about the incident and they thought that it was cool to
- play with food on cam... I said," Yea, but it looked like this bloddy chunky fetus
- crawled out of her vagina and was resting on her clit before it took off on a
- bloody fetus adventure." Well, they grossed out a little at that coment, but
- they were still in favor of fruit-frivolity, and they wanted me to have a canned
- cherry pie filling show too. The wheels started churning in my head, and an
- evil grin appeared on my face. I took a vote, "All those in favor of a bloody fetus
- night say aye." Majority ruled. I warned them that they were going to see the
- goriest show yet... they waited in aticipation.
-
- The night before the "fetus" show I fashoined a demon-fetus out of Play-Doh and mixed up a
- batch of fake blood. I was now ready for Bloody Fetus Night.
-
- Not much was said the next night, during the show. I think I saw someone comment "What the hell
- is she doing?" And I believe I saw "This is too weird," a couple of times. But that was about
- it. I got several e-mails during the next week, mostly positive feed back. People were
- wondering what exactly it all meant, and what part of my mind did I dream it up in. The whole
- show was very meaningful to me, and was produced not to please or excite my audience, but
- instead to make them think, and to share in the experience I was going through.
-
- Well, I guess it was just a sort of metaphysical cleansing.
- I grew up in a very strict Christian house hold.
- My decissions were made for me, my mind was made up for me.
- My life was planned for me and the TRUTH was explained to me...
- all by the Church. That sort of brain-washing in the formative years
- of one's existance can be quite harmful, and breaking out and away
- from it is very hard. The feelings that I had inside my head were
- stuck there, sort of like a fetus is stuck in the womb. Those
- feelings... of guilt, of being watched by a punishing God, the
- deciet, lies, control... were all planted there by the Church. The
- actions that I went through during my show symbolized a ceremonial
- aborting of the lies I'd been told.
- The knife that I used to "cut" all over my body was sort of a baptism
- tool, a kind of bloodletting to cleanse my soul.
-
- I'm sure that anyone growing up in a christian or Catholic household can sympathize with my
- situation. I've discovered that finding your own truth is what really sets you free.
-
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