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Bad Kitty Gothic Delight
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BloddyFetus
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bloodyexpl.txt
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2001-02-19
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Ok, so everybody wants to know what the heck "Bloody Fetus Night" was all about.
It started out when I went to this other girl's cam site to see some of her pictures.
(Ajacam) There was one pic from a past show that really caught my eye. It was
a close-up of her genitals with a blob of red chunky stuff in a little pile
up by her clit. I grossed out for a second, making the ew-gross-what-the-hell-is-that face,
then was somewhat captured by the image. I looked at the other pics surrounding it, and
came to the conclusion that she was playing with a can of cherry pie filling!
I told my members about the incident and they thought that it was cool to
play with food on cam... I said," Yea, but it looked like this bloddy chunky fetus
crawled out of her vagina and was resting on her clit before it took off on a
bloody fetus adventure." Well, they grossed out a little at that coment, but
they were still in favor of fruit-frivolity, and they wanted me to have a canned
cherry pie filling show too. The wheels started churning in my head, and an
evil grin appeared on my face. I took a vote, "All those in favor of a bloody fetus
night say aye." Majority ruled. I warned them that they were going to see the
goriest show yet... they waited in aticipation.
The night before the "fetus" show I fashoined a demon-fetus out of Play-Doh and mixed up a
batch of fake blood. I was now ready for Bloody Fetus Night.
Not much was said the next night, during the show. I think I saw someone comment "What the hell
is she doing?" And I believe I saw "This is too weird," a couple of times. But that was about
it. I got several e-mails during the next week, mostly positive feed back. People were
wondering what exactly it all meant, and what part of my mind did I dream it up in. The whole
show was very meaningful to me, and was produced not to please or excite my audience, but
instead to make them think, and to share in the experience I was going through.
Well, I guess it was just a sort of metaphysical cleansing.
I grew up in a very strict Christian house hold.
My decissions were made for me, my mind was made up for me.
My life was planned for me and the TRUTH was explained to me...
all by the Church. That sort of brain-washing in the formative years
of one's existance can be quite harmful, and breaking out and away
from it is very hard. The feelings that I had inside my head were
stuck there, sort of like a fetus is stuck in the womb. Those
feelings... of guilt, of being watched by a punishing God, the
deciet, lies, control... were all planted there by the Church. The
actions that I went through during my show symbolized a ceremonial
aborting of the lies I'd been told.
The knife that I used to "cut" all over my body was sort of a baptism
tool, a kind of bloodletting to cleanse my soul.
I'm sure that anyone growing up in a christian or Catholic household can sympathize with my
situation. I've discovered that finding your own truth is what really sets you free.
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